


danser

by missmartens



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dancing, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-10-05 15:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20490992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmartens/pseuds/missmartens
Summary: Christen Press is a dancer.





	1. Dancing With A Stranger (Sam Smith, Normani)

The air feels thick, dense, filled with the strangest energy she's ever felt in her whole life (and boy, she's always believed in energies). The song is suggestive and she remembers the last time she did something as… is hot a good word in this situation? 

But she shouldn't be feeling like this.

'Come on Chris, this is just another job. Just another song.'

For starters, she shouldn't be this nervous. She's the IT girl when it comes to dancing, because if Christen Press knows something for sure is that anyone related to that world knows who she is. Being one of the jewels of The School Of The American Ballet and having that pretty face and some exoticism, the truth is that it was kind of easy for her. The magazines, the videos (highlighting one of Taylor Swift who was a bomb in its day)... she was doing everything she could have dreamed when she was a little girl, imagining a world where the wounds on her toes and her fractured Achilles heel due to over practising were worth it.

Because she made it.

Her passion was her job, she danced for a living and it was so freaking amazing!

And that's why she is feeling uneasy, seating in a couch, in front of the pop/rock sensation Tobin Heath. Because she knows this is very far from the typical 'bubblegum pop' that becomes viral, no, this is something else. And she has to (pretend to) dance suggestively for the other girl, who grins smugly and follows the instructions the director gives, vybing a sense of professionalism that make Christen's insides burn. Anyone who read the newest 'pop' gossip or had a Twitter stan account would know that Tobin Heath was someone else, there was no month when she wasn't caught dating some new popular chick. Oh my God, Christen remembers that time when a few paparazzi crashed her birthday party and for a week everything she read was dozens of headlines in which anyone could repeatedly see the words 'Tobin' and 'coke'!

For fuck's sake, she was a real professional! Not Tobin! Christen wasn't even sure that the singer was sober at the moment!

"And… cut! We're taking a five minutes pause, well done girls!"

She huffs, taking a sip from the plastic bottle that an assistant hands her along with a satin robe so she wouldn't be exposed and a towel, because they're not even recorded a whole minute and she's already dripping sweat. 

Fucking summer and fucking heat and fucking Tobin H-

"Come on, can't you see we're burning or what!? Do something with the air conditioner! Ugh, these californians, they don't-"

"Hey, watch out. There is some people here from LA." The singer warns her manager, pointing at Christen. They look like two old friends more than a professional relationship but the dancer isn't going to inquire at all. 

"OH, sorry sweetie." She gives an apologetic smile that fades away when Tobin lights a cigarette. "Toooooobiiiiiin..."

"What?" Tobin rolls her eyes. Christen sighs, stepping aside: she hates smoking. Her mother was a regular smoker and that shit took her life some years ago so if there's something Christen Press hates is that fucking smell. "Nobody is going to say anything, relax."

"You know that shit's bad for your voice, you crackhead."

"People LOVES my voice and I've smoked since I was like fifteen, dude. This is something you can't change so for the upteenth time, drop it. I love you, but you're very annoying and don't forget you get paid because of me."

The other girl sighs. "Your arrogance stinks, Heath. Someday I'll leave and then what, huh?"

"Ha, ha, so funny. Why don't you take a walk outside the studio and call your boyfriend… you know; leave me alone for these few minutes so I can smoke not being bugged by you?"

"You know what? Fine. I'm leaving. Call a cab when the day it's over."

"Sure, Alexandra. Fuck off."

"I love you too."

She leaves and Christen is confused. It seems that this banter is somehow regular between them but the dancer feels uneasy, because she doesn't know if Tobin Heath is actually… well, like this. Is she collaborating with a psycho?

"Hey." She looks at the singer when her attention is required. "Uhm… sorry about that. She's my manager and best friend but, I swear, she loves to annoy me."

"She's right." Christen finds the courage to speak from the very first time to the superstar. She didn't have the opportunity to present herself because Tobin and her team were fashionable late so once they arrived they started filming. "Smoking is quite bad."

"I know. Does it disturb you? I wouldn't like this being… uncomfortable." 

Her deep, raspy voice causes Christen's gut to stir. Oh, it seems that Tobin is well aware of it. "Uhm…" and she drops the cigarette to the floor, stepping on it and tossing it aside.

"Better?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, love." The singer rests her head on her hand, looking at her with curiosity and a spark of fun in her eyes. Christen wears the white robe that the assistants have given her so that she doesn't get uncomfortable during the short pause but apart from that, she's half-naked and knows that Tobin is making holes in her torso with those hazel eyes of hers. It's kinda dizzy. "Are you liking it, so far?"

"The song's dope." The dancer doesn't lie. It's a very good song that she would surely enjoy if… well, that. 

"Yeah… I wanted something different, a twist, so this came out. I was kinda sick of sad songs." Christen nods. Talking about that makes it easier because, well, Tobin Heath could be a reckless woman but the truth was that her career was far from boring. "I'm glad the few people that have listened to it find it good enough. We'll see how it goes."

"It will do good. I'm sure." 

The singer raises an eyebrow but smiles anyway, finding Christen's assumption endearing. "Oh? How so?" The dancer shrugs. "We are premiering it at VMA's. So…"

"So…"

"Our team, well, I... want you there. We're not exactly recreating the video because I don't think I'd be able to sing properly while…" 

"Ladies, a minute and we're back!" The director says, kinda adamant. 

Christen gulps and tears her gaze away.

"We'll talk later."

"Yeah, okay."

"Hopefully with a beer?" OH no. She's not hanging out with her, later. No, no way she's going to be the next Kendall Jenner. She's about to decline when the assistants and a makeup artist come back to the set.

"How are you, guys? You feeling well?" They nod to one assistant's words. "Cool! Tobin, are you comfortable with the choice of styling?"

"You mean with this expensive-ass suit? I'm feeling dandy, Mal. Love what you've done with me today." Is she this flirty always? Christen scoffs, earning a glare from the singer. Whoops. "How's Dan, by the way?"

"He's doing good, I don't get to see him as much as I would like but at least we're settling down in Atlanta, so…" 

OH, so Mallory the stylist has a boyfriend. Cool. Christen keeps drinking water, unbothered by the friendly talk. 

"Oh, that's dope. I'm happy for you two. Send him my best regards."

Well, she's nice. Nicer than she first thought. Maybe she made some wrong assumptions, but well, who cares.

"Thank you Tobin, that's very sweet. If you play this fall on Atlanta I'll make sure you get some tickets to watch'em."

"That's sick! You know how much I am into sports, don't you?"

The younger girl laughs, wholeheartedly. "Yes, I do. Well, the director is coming and that's my cue to leave, catch ya later?"

"Later I'm having a drink here with Christen, so…" Wait. No, no, no. Christen never agreed to do that, why does she..?

Mal rolls her eyes, funnily. "Of course you are. I'll see you, then. Have fun." Tobin laughs while the stylist leaves the set. 

The dancer feels like a fucking doll.

"Uhm… I never said yes to-"

"I know, I was just having my hopes high."

"Well ladies, it's time to shot scene four. Please, take your positions as we rehearsed it. If we are lucky, we will have it in three takes, understood?" They both nod. "Perfect."

"Pssssst, Christen."

The dancer looks at the singer. She can feel her hot breath in her ear, tingling. It's intoxicating. 

Their eyes meet. 

Christen Press is so fucked up.

"Yeah?"

"You never said no, either."

•••

She ends up in a nice decorated bar, not very far from the studio. It seems private and Christen, sipping 'the promised' beer, wonders if Tobin brings there all her acquaintances to hang out. 

The singer seems to have fun by the mere act of looking at her. It's somehow disturbing.

"So… tell me about yourself." Oh, how cliché. How many girls would have fall for that nonchalance. Christen rolls her eyes and Tobin laughs at that. "What? Do you find weird that I want to know you?"

"No, uhm... well, I'm Christen, I'm from Palos Verdes, LA-"

"I already know that, Chris. Something different."

"Nobody calls me Chris."

"I do. Unless it bothers you."

"No." She likes it. It's different. "No, it doesn't. What would you like to know?"

"What's the best thing you've done as a dancer?" She is indeed surprised, she wasn't expecting this depth so she tries to answer with honesty.

"Uhm… wow. Well, graduating was huge back then, but I guess the thing I enjoyed the most was when I performed at Dolby Theatre as the lead dancer for The Nutcracker, along with The Royal Ballet. I was twenty and I was so terrified of messing it all up but I ended up doing pretty good."

"And the rest is history, right?"

"Yeah." Christen finds herself laughing. "It is. And you? What's the place you've loved the most as a performer?"

"The Madison Square Garden has it spell." The dancer can imagine it. It would be huge, dancing there. "But four years ago, during my first european tour, I was so pumped to be able to get out of the states and the first gig was on this old theatre, in Manchester. It was packed! It felt so… so good. The crowd knew all my songs, all the lyrics." It's her passion what leads Christen on. She has definitely misjudged the singer. "When you do something like this… when you've been gifted, blessed, to be living what you've always dreamed…"

"Yeah. I know. So, you believe in God."

Tobin nods. "Born and raised in a Christian community, my uncle was the priest, actually. Do you?"

"What?"

"Believe."

Christen wrinkles her nose. "I'm afraid not, my parents were never the religious type. I respect it very much, though. Being a ballet dancer means learning as much as you can imagine about Roman mythology and there's a few pieces that recreate mythical scenes from the history of the Christian religion so in the end... oh my Gosh, I'm sorry. I'm talking so much, right? I tend to over-explain myself when I get intense over a subject that I'm passionate about."

"Please, don't apologize Christen. I'm enjoying myself, you're lovely."

And Christen shrugs, but her cheeks are reddening. "Uh… thanks, I guess." She herself is enjoying the chat. It seems that Tobin is full of surprises. "I'm enjoying myself too."

"Cool. Sometimes it's hard for me to sit and have a normal conversation about life, you know? People tends to judge me basing on what the yellow press says about me and that's exhausting."

"I… I can bet."

"I know you had your own assumptions about me, Christen. Don't worry about that, I think there's no person in this whole city that thinks that I'm just a normal thirty-year old girl-"

"Tobin, you're not a normal girl, you're one of the most famous singers in the whole world." The dancer giggles. "Still freaking me out that I get to hang out with you."

"And what's the verdict?"

"You pass. Barely, but you do."

"Oh, oh, so Christen Press is picky." Another giggle follows. "Who would have guessed?"

"Don't think you got me figured out in an hour, please. That would be sad." Tobin laughs. An open, funny, wholehearted laugh. Christen has to smile, flattered to be the person who makes her laugh. "I'm kidding. And sorry if I… misjudged you. Clearly misjudged you."

"It's okay. Really, don't worry." 

They both take a sip from their respective drinks. Christen hasn't drunk in months and she feels her head going dizzy, as her body when she was shooting the video. Huh. The silence isn't uncomfortable, though. The dancer actually enjoys just the barely audible song that is playing through the speakers, the sound of the glasses that one waiter is placing on a shelf and the soft murmur of the conversations in other boots of the bar. If she concentrates enough, she can hear the name of her companion but, hey, they are co-workers and they aren't doing anything wrong. Just getting to know each other.

"I'm… I'm coming back in two weeks to shot an unplugged. Do you think…"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you'd like to repeat this? If you're not busy, I mean. I know how crazy can be a dancer's schedule."

"I can give you my phone number and then we can text each other to see if we can make something work."

"I would love that." Tobin sounds sincere and Christen decides she's newly addicted to her raw determination. 

"Okay." 

"I just…" Tobin sighs. "Can I ask you something else?"

She nods. "Sure."

"Just don't… don't think all the things that people say about me are true, please. I… I would like to keep you around, you seem to be a good friend."

Ha. She gulps.

Her sisters, fuck, her best friend Kelley O'Hara would flip if they'd know what has Christen been doing during the last hour and, fuck, she should feel crazily pleased to be interesting enough for Tobin to want to be her friend.

"Yeah. Don't worry about that, Tobin."

"Cool."

But suddenly the word 'friend' feels weird.

And she doesn't want to think about why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry because i'm from Spain and i just write this to practice my english skills lol don't be so hard on me pls.
> 
> also, hope you like this.


	2. Dance You Off (Benjamin Ingrosso)

'Un, deux trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit…'

Christen Press feels quite good. 

It's monday and she's being choreographed for Tobin Heath VMA's act by the infamous (and a good friend of hers) Julie Johnston, one of the best professionals she has ever met. They studied together but Julie took the path of choreography, the art of creating instead of being a main dancer, partly because she married a NFL star and she didn't want to join a company that could move her around the States for long periods of time without a place to call home. More or less, the life that Christen is living, being her parents' house in Los Angeles the only place she could come back (and a condo in New York, where her best friend Kelley O'Hara lived and where the guest room was practically hers).

Okay, so in the end she couldn't agree with Tobin to meet in New York, but what? They'll see each other in a few days due to rehearsals, so she isn't sad at all. She would have liked doing something more casual than a work related meeting, but well...

Julie distracts her from her thoughts.

"Good, Press. Do you wanna take five minutes to rest or do I continue?"

She takes a long breath, resting her back against the brick wall of Julie's dance place. She took a flight expressly from New York to meet her friend in her dance studio, since if she was taking part at an event, her friend used to be the one in charge of the visual and artistic part of the piece. Julie didn't have to choreograph Tobin's video because the director didn't give annotations of what he wanted to do so for the two scenes in which Christen had to dance, she improvised. Another very different thing were on stage awards, where they couldn't "hide" and according to some camera shots and angles pretend that Tobin was also a great dancer. She didn't dance badly, huh? But of course, the videos had that.

In fact, all Tobin had to do in the presentation was play her guitar and look at Christen while she danced (and maybe Christen Press was having some issues thinking about how the show would be like because if she nearly died when she shot the video, imagine dancing suggestively around Tobin). 

"Go on."

Julie chuckled. "You look tired, I'm not even sure you've slept."

"Jules… I'm fine, really."

"Okay. So, Tobin comes to the center of the stage where you lay and takes the mic stand." Christen walks to the point where Julie is and lays down on the floor. "And she will play with her hand on it and when she reaches the second eight you arch little by little as if she were touching you, yeah?" The dancer swallows, almost choking. Oh, wow. "She will be looking at you."

"O-Okay.

"Then you stand up; she will help you with her hand while singing the chorus. You have to position yourself looking at the crowd and with the same hand she'd helped you to stand up, she'll put it against your abdomen and you'll roll your hips from side to side to each beat of the chorus until the guitar solo arrives and you will push her back slightly so an assistant hands her the guitar." Oh my God, what Julie is creating sounds like hell. "And then your second solo starts." Christen nods and walks to Julie. It's all she can do. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, stand here. And we go in trois, deux, un, slide, turn around, hips, hands on your head in six, seven, eight, okay, allegro Chris, faster. She stops, taking a breath. She needs to step out, to do better. She just doesn't know who is going to kill her first; if Julie with her dance moves or… ugh, she doesn't want to think about that yet. She will face Tobin eventually, maybe this thursday or friday, and her stomach does somersaults at the thought of rehearsing THIS with her. "Once again."

"Okay."

"Trois, deux, un…"

•••

She's totally spent. The first session has gone from three hours and she doesn't even feel her lungs when they finally stop. Even Julie, with her madly toned abs and overworked body looks tired. 

"You did good, Pressy." The dancer nods, sitting on the floor with drops of sweat on her forehead. "This one is going to be a bomb."

"Yeah. If I don't die in the process." Julie giggles, high-fiving her. "But you're right. I'm enjoying it already and Tobin's not even here."

"Have you met her?"

"Yup, shoot the vid last friday. It was cool." The blonde girl nods, handing Christen a bottle of water. "Thank you."

"Honey, spill. Does she live to the expectations?" 

"She's very nice, actually."

"She's coming this wednesday and I wouldn't like to face a prick, so good to know."

"Wednesday? Already?" Christen sighs. 

"Yeah. Do you want me to drop you at the hotel? I've been talking with her manager earlier, what was her name… uhm…"

"Alexandra. Morgan."

"Yeah, her! She told me they've booked three rooms in the Rittenhouse." Holy shit. That hotel is very expensive, she knows because the first time she came to visit Julie, she was checking out on Safari some hotel rooms before her friend offered to stay at her house and she would have done that too this time if she didn't know that Tobin's team was taking care of all the expenses. "I swear, these rich people…"

"Honey, don't act like Zach doesn't earn a number with five zeros behind per month" Julie smiles, amused. "And with this, I remain as the only broke kid on the building."

"Ha! The fuck they're not paying you well for this one." Well, she definitely isn't going to complain. "Let me guess."

"Jules…"

"A huge ass hundred thous-"

"Okay, what if I pay for lunch and you drop the subject?"

"Deal, and I'm choosing the place. Come on, 'Baby Houseman', we're moving."

Christen chuckles at the reference. She's missed her friend and on top of that, she's staying on a fancy hotel room for the night. Maybe she'll order a bottle of champagne and take one of those foam baths that lasts for hours. And finally she'll sleep in a stable place, yes, that would be awesome.

Life couldn't be better at the moment.

•••

'Hope you've enjoyed your first day on Philly, beautiful ;) Call me once you're settled in the room, not doing anything for tonight. - Tobin.'

Christen smiles and leaves the card on a wooden table. Okay, Tobin's so cute. 

She takes a moment to look at her surroundings: holy fuck, the room is huge. She whistles. Turns out that she doesn't have to ask for a champagne bottle because from where she's standing she can see a metallic bucket next to the couch, and there's a red wine bottle along with a couple of glasses.

"Nice. Let's see where's the bathroom."

She leaves her small suitcase on the middle of the room and undresses herself slowly. She's tired, her muscles are still burning from the first rehearsal and lifting her arms, she cracks her back muscles before grabbing her mobile phone, the bottle of wine and walking to what's supposed to be the bathroom.

Okay, the bathtub is enormous. She presses the hot water button and enters slowly when the bathtub is half full, enjoying the sensation of the water against her tired body.

"Oh, this is very nice." She says, leaving her iPhone on a towel and opening the bottle of wine slowly until the 'pop' of the cap sounds and she giggles. "Shit…" The glass. Well, she will have to drink straight from the bottle. 

Once she has been in the bathtub for a while (but the water stays warm still because it must have self-regulation or any innovative and expensive shit that looks like coming with the bathtub) and the bottle of wine has already dropped almost to the half, she's strolling down her Instagram feed, rummaging if she should call Tobin or not. Well, she could. It doesn't have to be anything bad, she's just enjoying a bath, isn't she? Perhaps the dizziness she had from drinking without having dinner first has something to do with her unusual boldness.

She dials her number.

"Hey, stranger." Christen giggles. God, her voice is sexy. "So, I guess you read the note."

"I did. This is very nice, thank you."

"I wanted you to be comfortable. Morgan told me today would be a long ass day for you. Have you seen the bottle of wine I ordered for you?"

"I'm drinking it, actually."

Tobin laughs. "Oh yeah? Are you having fun by yourself?"

"Yeah, in the bathtub."

The silence fills the room; Christen activates the speaker mode and puts her phone aside, taking another long sip from the bottle. She feels overwhelmingly good, tomorrow she may regret doing 'this' but does it matter? Also, the one who started flirting madly with her the first time they met was Tobin. 

Fuck her, for being so charming.

"O-Okay. Are… are you naked in the bathtub?"

"People usually take baths undressed, Tobin."

"Holy shit…" Christen giggles. Quite a reaction. "This is not fair. My flight is at 3PM tomorrow."

"What a shame. What would you do, anyway? I'm just taking a bath."

"Come on Chris, you know exactly what you're doing." Well. She's right. Christen smiles, pleased.

"Where are you?" She asks, wondering.

"Home. I just arrived from a dinner with people from the record label. Why?"

"Hmmm. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be in Philadelphia at… six, I think? We can meet there at the hotel."

"Cool."

"Cool." Christen takes a long audible breath. "You need to stop doing that."

Yes. She should. 

"I'm just messing around. I had a long day and this feels so good. Thank you for taking care of me tonight, Tob-"

"Okay, I'm hanging up because I don't want to take an express flight or I will be there in three hours tops and then you'll regret the situation in which you are putting me, babe."

'Babe'. 

Oh.

"Okay."

"Have a…" Tobin clears her throat and Christen giggles. "Good night, Chris."

"I will. Good night, Tobin. Sweet dreams."

•••

Obviously, when she wakes up and remembers what she did last night she wants to die.

"Julie, I need… I beg you, to have dinner at yours and Zach's. Or anywhere in the city."

The choreographer raises an eyebrow, confused. "Ehhh… I thought you were staying at the Rittenhouse? Don't they have a buffet there or…?"

"Uhm…" Christen's cheeks are as red as the wine she was drinking in the bathtub. She doesn't want to tell her friend the embarrassing episode from last night.

"You know you're welcome anytime, Christen. Be there at six, we'll order some greasy pizza and watch 'Americas Best Dance Crew' just like the old times, yeah?"

"Oh, I owe you." She hugs her friend, who giggles still kind of confused. "I'll bring beer."

"Awesome." 

•••

Turns out, she can't avoid the unavoidable. Julie and her are in the middle of the third episode of the first season when Christen's phone begins to vibrate and she picks it up to see what it is. 

A message from Tobin. Shit…

Tobin Heath: already arriving ;) see u there? 19:20

Well, she has to answer. At least, try to be the less awkward possible.

You: sorry, I'm having dinner at Julie's :((( 19:22

Tobin Heath: oh, the choreographer? OK, I'm ordering dinner then, let me know when you arrive if u want. Wanna see you :) 19:25

She definitely can't avoid the unavoidable. She has no excuse to stay longer and Zach and Julie eventually will want to rest. What did she think, that she couldn't see Tobin or what? God, she's Tobin Heath. Of course she has everything covered. 

"Guys, I'm going to ask for an Uber." 

"You don't want me to drive you there?" Zach offers, kind as always. 

"Don't worry, it's just a ten minute ride."

The Uber arrives sooner rather than later and Christen, already nervous, says goodbye to her friends thanking them for the dinner and the hospitality (they've been lovely with her). 

Her belly hurts. She's really on the edge of spiralling. 

When she sees the hotel's front door, she gulps, takes out the phone from her handbag and types what her death sentence could be.

You: I'm here ;) 20:15

Tobin Heath: cool, meet on ur door? 20:17

You: Taking the elevator. 20:18

Tobin Heath: walkin through the corridor hahah 20:19

And 'beep'. 

Sixth floor.

She's not ready.

"Hello, stranger."

She definitely isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what a welcome. I'm so glad you're liking it so thank youuu :D here's the second one, I'll probably update once a week but seeing I have this already written...


	3. One Dance (Drake)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more like a chapter 2 continuation, but anyway. things get hot. 
> 
> you're all lovelyyyyyyy. 
> 
> also, what a nice assist from miss cp23 to linds.
> 
> ps: as you can see i'm naming all the chapters as famous songs about dancing, you can tell me if you have any song you like (that meets that standard, of course, and I don't mind songs in another language because the truth is that I speak 4 lol)
> 
> thank you for reading :)

To say she's surprised would be an understatement. She didn't expect to end up walking to the indoor pool of the hotel, grabbing Tobin's hand on the walk and thinking that it was very nice that the singer hadn't offered to hang out in her room (because Christen knew what that would lead to). Also, if the singer insists that much, she would follow her without hesitation.

So when she finds, on a side of the pool, a small white table decorated with a crystal vase in which there are some red roses, two glasses and a bottle of red wine exactly like the one who Christen emptied last night, she raises an eyebrow and smiles. A slightly audible musical thread is playing in the background, she can recognize a famous The Weeknd's song. 

Tobin snorts, though. "I told her I wanted simplicity. Fucking Alex, I swear…" The dancer laughs. She's nervous. "Well, I thought after a long day this would be fine. Here we can relax."

"Are you trying to get me drunk again?"

"Last night was fun, wasn't it?" The singer shrugs nonchalantly.

"I don't think funny would be the proper word to define it, but okay."

"And what word would be?" Tobin tosses aside her Nike fancy shoes and after grabbing the bottle of wine, she sits on the edge of the pool and introduces one foot on the water. "Fuck… it feels so nice, it's warm. Come here."

"Are we allowed to be here this late?"

"Eh…." Tobin blushes slightly.

"What?"

"I… kinda rented the whole pool for the night."

"Wow. You… can you do that?"

"Apparently, yeah. Alex took care of it so let's not talk about procedures, yeah?" 

Christen is hesitating. The rockstar could do something as tremendous as that in the bath of an eye and even if Christen was living a good wealthy life, she's not used to that level of luxury. After all, she grew up in a small house, having to deal with a lot of issues including paying taxes, rent, worrying about not being able to have all she would have liked to have…

"You didn't have to. I mean, it's cool but…"

"Okay. Let's address the money issue, then." Tobin asks Christen to sit by her side with a movement of her hand, so the dancer does. "Love, I don't want this to be a problem. Yes, I have tons of money and sometimes I like lush life and I get bizarre about it but I haven't always lived this life, you know? I grew up in an average house with the most normal family you can imagine, hell, I don't even like the word normal but I swear we are. Last year I inaugurated the Heath Music and Leisure Center in my city, New Jersey, where a lot of young people found their first jobs and also a place to go if they don't want to be in the streets." Christen nods. It's overwhelming, but she's loving getting to know those little things about her anyway. "Okay, I'm not the best person I can be. Neither the wors-"

"Tobin-"

"And I appreciate your company, if I didn't, I wouldn't be telling you all this bullshit. I like you, Chris. Okay?"

"Okay. Let's drink, then."

And Tobin smiles, pleased.

"That, I can do." She grabs the bottle straight and takes a sip. "Like if we were on High School."

"Where you one of those girls who drank cheap wine?"

"Preferred beer, but yeah." They both giggle and then they start drinking in silent (well, besides the music) until the bottle is almost empty. 

Then, the singer approaches herself to the dancer.

"You look beautiful." She says.

Christen chuckles. "I'm in yogui pants and a messy bun."

"You do."

"We're supposed to be friends, Tobin."

"And yesterday?

The dancer sighs. This conversation is taking a path she doesn't know if she likes at all.

"Yesterday I was just messing with you."

"So you like messing, huh? With Tobin Heath, the reckless rockstar, the girl who could be hanging with any girl-"

"D'you know what's really intriguing about you? You aren't by any means that girl, the girl that the media portrays. Yes, of course you are sexy as hell and somehow you act like you know it but you're also thoughtful, charming, funny and very nice, so I'm not taking any of that shit tonight Tobin. But, it's just… if we cross the line…"

"And I get you. But that won't stop me from telling you how beautiful you are, Chris. How different and refreshing. Sorry if I'm making things complicated or if I misread the situati-"

"You didn't." 

The singer plays with her foot in the water, trying to draw a pattern with her fingers.

"So yesterday." She repeats. Christen's breath hitches. "You… you left me all alone, hot and bothered. It was such a turn on." And she looks at her and the dancer thinks she can't take it.

But she continues. The drink is helping her bluntness. "Yeah?" Tobin nods. "Did you do anything afterwards?"

"Do you really want to know?"

The thing is, she wants to. She needs to. She's burning inside and Tobin's hazel eyes are glowing, and from her position she can see a couple of beautiful tattoos under the singer's black tank top, one in a hip and another one just on the flesh above her stomach, where her abs start to define. And she wants to run her fingers through the thin lines of the designs, so she does, making Tobin huff. 

"Babe, if you don't stop…"

"What did you do, Tobin?" She purrs.

"I… I touched myself. And I imagined it was you the one that was doing it to me." This is too much. Tobin grabs Christen's hand and intertwines their fingers, making her stop. "I'm not going to apologize."

"I don't want you to. Stop worrying; I'm an adult and I can handle… whatever this is."

"Okay. I'm going to kiss you."

She does.

And Christen regrets her own words when Tobin fucks her senseless against the floor.

Because maybe (just maybe) she can't handle it at all.


	4. Slow Dancing On A Burning Room (John Mayer)

They don't sleep together. 

Christen figures that if she wants to take a breath from all the madness she's experiencing with Tobin, she needs to focus on herself. It's not like she can sleep too much anyways (she spends half of the night in the bathtub, having the need to be 'clean' from what happened) but at least when she wakes up her mind is cleared enough. 

She has made a decision: to keep it professional. Of course she liked being in the singer's arms; she's sure that's the best intimate encounter she has ever had but she can't erase from her head the memory of the look that Tobin gave her just before reaching that point of no return and those brown eyes, damn, they're haunting her.

So she doesn't meet her on the lobby; instead, she hurries up to be the first to arrive at Julie's dance studio. The rehearsals start officially that day (for Tobin, of course, because she had already figured out all the number) and she swears she would be content being swallowed by a hole and not having to make an appearance. But she's a professional and when Tobin arrives, ten minutes later, she doesn't even look at her while she listens to the choreographer.

That's what she has to do, she repeats herself mentally.

It's smooth, though. Tobin seems to understand that Christen's not up for games and she behaves properly, just like the day they shot the video. The dancer hasn't even had breakfast and feels like her body is jelly but for the most part of the practice she's steady and fluid.

The problem comes when she has to dance with her. 

She gulps, feeling Tobin's hand crawling down her abdomen.

"Hi." The singer breaths in her ear, taking advantage of the moment in which Julie walks towards the music stereo to play the song. 

"H-Hi." She says.

It's a torture. Tobin is gracious, like she's been dancing with her all her life but her mind is betraying her because she can't help but replay what happened last night so there's a moment when Christen just can't go on.

"I… I need to stop for a minute."

"Are you okay?" Julie asks, surprised, and the dancer nods without looking at her, not daring to. Her cheeks are burning from the embarrassment. "Cool, we can take a ten minutes break." 

"Is there Gatorade in the vending machine?"

"Yes."

"Awesome. Do you want anything?" Walking to where her backpack is, in a corner of the room, she offers both the choreographer and the singer.

"I wouldn't say no to a drink. I'll go with you."

Shit. 

Well.

"O-Okay. We'll be here in ten, Jules."

They walk silently down the hall until they reach the machine. Christen takes some coins from her wallet and puts them in there, carefully. The tension could be cut with a knife but Tobin simply waits, leaning on the wall and glancing at her phone, unbothered.

For once, she thanks the lack of communication.

Until Tobin speaks, of course.

"Chris." 

She turns around to face her. Tobin looks… confused? Weird, she wouldn't find a better word to describe it. 

"Yes?"

"Is… everything okay?"

The dancer sighs. "I tend to get stressed when I'm working, sorry."

Liar. Pathetic, silly, liar.

"Oh. I just… I felt something was off."

"I'm okay. Don't worry." 

She's not.

"Cool."

She tries to make it up for her. Truth is that she's been giving her the coldest treatment but the singer hasn't done anything to deserve it, so she pays for her soda and walks with her to the exit (because she wants to smoke) as a way to redeem herself for how mean she was being. Tobin smokes quietly, almost if she were lost in her own world. It looks like she's overthinking, or over analyzing something, but Christen doesn't want to intrude so she stays there, quiet.

The silence becomes kinda unbearable, though. More so, if she feels Tobin's gaze on her; burning her, as if she didn't care to be caught, as if she had permission.

"I'm… I'm going inside." The singer nods, giving her a sly smile.

Before returning to the dance room, she goes in the bathroom for a moment and rests her hands on the sink, looking at her reflection in the mirror. 'Keep it professional, Christen' she reminds herself with a mumble, hardening her gaze. It's not even been a day and she's already tired.

She makes her way to Julie's determined to cut with the bullshit and to be the best dancer she could be. And honestly, it works; the choreographer congratulates her for the hard work, even.

And she feels satisfied. Because dancing is her life and a fling between her and a 'popular singer' is not going to change that by any means.

•••

"I'm gonna rest in my room, later I'll meet some friends for dinner. Will you be fine here on your own?" 

Christen chuckles, dryly. "I'm thirty years old Tobin, of course I can handle myself." 

The singer sighs. "Look: I don't know what I have done for you to be this pissed off but I'm not taking any of it. I have already had my fair share of 'fucks and flies' and I'm okay with that but we are no longer two fucking teenagers to be stuck in this nonsense. It will be good for you to be alone, so sort yourself out and then if you feel like it, we can talk, okay?" She wasn't expecting Tobin to be this… mature about the situation. It kinda makes her speechless. "Okay, you ain't talking to me now. How fucking matur-"

"You didn't let me process, idiot."

"And now you're insulting."

"Are you always this straightforward?" Christen deadpans. "I know I'm acting like a jerk but yesterday we crossed all the lines and… and I don't know, I'm not used to this, so to keep my mind focused on what could be one of the best dance-related moments of my life, I… I try to keep being the best professional I am. Sorry. Maybe you are used to perform at big events but the VMAs are kinda a big deal for me and I'm nervous, and then there's you and…"

"Me?"

The dancer scoffs. "Don't act like you don't know I'm attracted to you because false modesty doesn't suit you at all." And the singer grins. "There you go."

"I'm happy we're talking, that's all. You're always so stiff around me and I like you better when you're all smiles and flirt."

"As you've said, we're not teenagers anymore. And I'm sorry if I don't meet your expectations but this 'edgy and dry' part comes with the package."

"Don't worry, I like it. Not as much when you're nice to me but…"

"Yeah. I get it." Christen finds herself smiling. Is very hard not to when the singer acts this charming. "And sorry."

"It's okay, I can understand it. Just… we can talk, you know? We perform together, I wouldn't like it to be uncomfortable for you." Christen nods, happy to hear that. Tobin is being very thoughtful. "And if you want, I can… behave?"

"That would be awesome, actually."

Tobin laughs. "Okay. Okay, I will. By the way… uhm, I've been told that there are some fans waiting for me outside the hotel. Do you want me to drop you elsewhere or…?"

"Are you going to stop?"

"I don't think so. I don't know how they've found me this time, I swear sometimes I have the feeling that I'm being tracked down." Tobin sighs. "Sorry. It's one of the things I never got used to."

"Having fans?"

"Not having privacy. Although it may not seem like it, I'm a super private person. My PR team is super, but still… sorry. This is a lot."

"No, don't be sorry, I get it." Christen assures. "Uhm… maybe if I go first I can distract them and then you can go from behind or something?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that would be cool. I'll come down to say hi later, it's just that I'm drowned right now and in the need of a shower. I don't want them to see me like this." She looks beautiful, though. Christen shuts up, anyway. That's, until she leans to kiss her cheek. "Thanks, Chris." She whispers, close to her ear.

The dancer's nearly dead.

"No worries."

She says, steady.

But she's the first one to worry, after all.

•••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda filler, but necessary. Tell me if you're liking it so far :)


	5. Dancing With Your Ghost (Sasha Sloan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highly recommended listening to the song that names this chapter before reading it.

By the time the last rehearsal before the VMA's come, Tobin and Christen have already established a routine that works: they usually have breakfast together in a cute cafeteria five minutes walking-distance to Julie's dance studio. Tobin remembers what Christen likes to eat so she orders for her (and maybe the dancer is a little smitten by that) and then they walk there because it's not so far and there's not much people in the streets so the singer can go unnoticed. Even if some fan recognizes her, she doesn't mind stopping to chat for a minute or two, take a picture and keep going.

It works, and when they are over, Christen recognizes herself that she is going to miss it. Tobin has touched her so carefully, has behaved so well… and the show is in two days and then it will be over.

"Jules, do you mind if I stay here for a bit?"

Her friend nods. "You know my space is your space if you need it. Give me the keys back tonight or tomorrow morning before taking the plane. I'll be home, okay?"

"Thank you." The hug between the two friends is long and sincere. Christen owes her so much, she has been one of the few constant people in her life and she's so grateful for a person as loyal as Julie 'Johnston' Ertz. "Take care."

"Same to you. You'll nail it at the VMA's, yeah? You've got this, honey." Christen nods, smiling. "Tobin. It's been a pleasure working with you."

"Likewise." The singer leans in for a friendly hug. "I have a feeling this won't be the last time we see each other."

"Oh, if you have any other project you can always count me in. Bye, girls! Have fun"

They both hear the slam of the door and Christen swallows. Well, they are alone. Tobin is crouched down, tying the shoelaces of her Nike shoes and when she's over, she sighs and sits on the floor. She looks tired and Christen can help but smile, walking to the stereo and plugging her iPhone to connect Spotify. Julie has completely wore them off for the last rehearsal.

"What are you going to do?" Tobin asks, curious. 

The dancer chooses a song. 'Smithereens' by Twenty One Pilots starts playing and Christen smiles. She loves that song.

"I feel like dancing. Do you mind?" Tobin shakes her head.

So she dances. Closing her eyes, feeling the cold ground against the palm of her feet, jumping, spinning. Feeling free. Relaxed. All the tension running through her limbs until it fades into the air.

It's therapeutical. Tobin can't look away for a second, she's amazed.

And then the song is over. The evening light keeps coming through the window though and Christen breathes tiredly without stopping to smile as the sun's rays brush her face. Is she a goddess? The singer believes so.

"W… wow." She manages, and Christen chuckles.

"I… sorry, I was stressed. This helps me."

"No, no. Don't apologize, please. It's very beautiful." She stops and Christen feels how some force absorbs all the air from her lungs. Perhaps because no one had ever looked at her before with an intensity like Tobin's at that time. "Sorry. It was either telling you or bursting." She can't help but smile and then she lands a hand to Tobin. "What?"

"We are going to dance."

Tobin huffs. "Seriously? I'm spent. I've never, ever, had a five hours rehearsal before. Have mercy on me, please."

"Come on, Tobin Heath. Aren't you a legend?" So she stands up, hesitantly. "Good! I'm letting you choose a song, even."

"Yeah? Oh I'm so going to kill you with my crazy dance moves, baby." Christen giggles and walks with Tobin to the stereo. "Shush, go away! I'm choosin'."

'Get Your Freak On' by Missy Elliot starts playing and Christen cracks up laughing. 

"Unbelievable! Are you serious?"

Tobin claps, daring the dancer. "Come on, Chris! ImPRESS me."

It's like an absurd dance but Christen can't stop laughing even when she starts pretending to twerk perfectly. Tobin makes silly attempts and ends up following Christen moves, trying really hard to do good but failing in the end, just for the fun of it.

"Okay, stop." The singer breathe with difficulty, resting her hands on her knees and releasing a large exhalation. "This ain't fair. You have much more stamina than me!"

Christen laughs. "Tobin I do this for a living. I can choose something slower, if you…"

"Yeah, yeah. Let me…"

"Of course."

'Dancing With Your Ghost' by Sasha Sloan comes on and Christen gasps. She recognizes the song almost instantly: she was the main character on that video, too.

"Have you seen-"

"Yeah... actually that's what brought you to me." Tobin explains. "I… I wrote that song . Sold it to Sasha because I wasn't able to sing it, never had the strength to do such a thing." The dancer swallows. She's cried a few times listening to it. "Uhm… they hired you to dance and… and I saw everything before its release date because Sasha is a good friend of mine and she was so respectful to my song. So I guess I wanted you to…"

"Yeah?"

"Dance. In a video of mine." Tobin confesses. "Sorry if I kept it to myself till today."

"It's okay. I'm glad you made that decision." Christen walks to her, slowly.

"I just wanted you to know that I've never seen anything as beautiful as you dancing to my song."

"Do you want to dance with me?" She asks, cautiously. Nothing physical or hard, I promise."

"Yeah." 

Yelling at the sky  
Screaming at the world  
Baby, why'd you go away?  
I'm still your girl

Holding on too tight  
Head up in the clouds  
Heaven only knows  
Where you are now

How do I love  
How do I love again?  
How do I trust  
How do I trust again?

I stay up all night  
Tell myself I'm alright  
Baby, you're just harder to see than most  
I put the record on  
Wait 'til I hear our song  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost

So Tobin hugs her, careful, as if she didn't want to break that beautiful atmosphere they've both created. They swing and the singer barely sings the chorus in a whisper. The dancer is sweating but she still smells good anyway, Tobin thinks and Christen feels safe in the arms of the singer, who balances them slowly. The sun's rays have already died on the horizon and the darkness fills every corner of the room. When the song ends, that darkness is joined by silence and all Christen can hear is Tobin's heavy breathing.

Christen wonders who would have broken Tobin's heart so hard for the singer to write something as honest and raw as that. 

She doesn't know that for Tobin, this is a song of self-love. From her, to her and about her. For the girl she used to be before the fame and the craziness came to haunt her life.

"I want to kiss you." The singer confesses. "But I respect your willing."

"Tobin..." She whispers, feeling like she's just a few inches from her.

"I know. Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. I want to kiss you too." The dancer replies, emboldened by the fact that Tobin cannot see her. She caresses her face gently, anyway. "It's friday and the awards are this monday. That's four days, Tobin. Okay?"

"Okay." The singer nods and kisses Christen's hand.

It feels like a promise, though. 

It just sucks that life is harder than that.

"Chris, one last thing."

"Yeah?"

"My team wants you to come to the awards with me. To stroll through the red carpet together hand in hand and to sit together in the booth. I don't want to do something that will bother you, so I didn't answer them yet. I wanted to talk about it with you."

"What do you want to do?" She asks.

"Are you serious? I'd be delighted. I'd be the most fortunate woman in the room, honestly."

Christen can't help it anymore. Tobin is so cautious, so thoughtful, almost as if they were inside a bubble she doesn't want to break. 

"Then it's settled."

"Media will go nuts talking about us." Tobin warns her. 

Now Christen knows that Tobin doesn't like that. That she's fed up of rumours, trials and tribulations about herself. That she loves to sing, to write, to paint (even) and everything related to art and music but she didn't signed up to this. 

Never.

So she makes a decision that can change her life.

"I'll go with you."

But her life already changed when she met Tobin Heath, so what about it?


	6. Movement (Hozier)

(Imagine that the song Tobin performs is Movement by Hozier because actually that motivational video of hers with the song is what inspired me to write this fic.)

•••

Suddenly, it is too much.

Of course she has been invited to some galas before, but she never thought that she was going to live the experience of being in the spotlight. She tries to entertain herself with one of these silly games apps while a full beauty team decides what is she going to wear that night, how is she going to stand up there posing…

It's ridiculous, she thinks, having at least five people engaged in an argument about it. Is that what famous people has to face in every event? It might be exhausting, Christen recognizes. She sighs, already tired but then a notification pops up in the screen.

'Tobin Heath: havin fun w Mal's troupe? ;) i'll be there in 5 mins tops!'

The dancer smiles for the first time in the afternoon. It's been already three days since the last time she saw her but the truth is that she has missed her. 

A lot, actually.

She pays attention to what's happening around her because Mallory and one of her assistants (her name is… Lavelle, Christen thinks?) are having a heated argument.

"She would look fab with those heels!"

"I fucking know, Rose, it's just… Tobin is gonna wear those blue Nike shoes she's talking about and I swear to god, she's sometimes so difficult to style… we can't make her wear those heels, 'cause then people are just going to look at her shoes and we have enough with one, we can't bear two! I don't want the damn Vanity Fair placing Tobin Heath in the list of clownery looks, baby." Mallory sighs and Christen has to laugh. She loves her driven passion and she knows that sometimes Tobin can be too eclectic with her looks. In fact, the stylist looks at her to reinforce her opinion. "I mean, love her and I love my job, it's just…"

"Tobin's kinda special." The dancer reassures her, smiling.

"Oh! I like this one." Rose intercedes.

"You like who?"

And there she is. Christen's heart skips a beat when she sees her and she has to swallow it down. It looks like she hasn't slept so much; she's wearing a simple white shirt and gray sweatpants, and a ridiculous hat on her head but at the same time the look is so sexy, so Tobin-esque. She's chewing gum and wears huge black sunglasses on her face, honestly, Christen can see the hangover from where she is. 

Tobin can't stop looking at her: her curly hair (over-curled) and a light smokey makeup that makes her green eyes look like two stars. 

'You.' Is huge the temptation to say that word, but Christen remains speechless. 

"When the stare contest is over, welcome back Tobin! We've missed you around here, but shouldn't you be in the other room with Mewis?"

As nonchalant as she is, Tobin shrugs. 

"Well, I wanted to see her first." She was referring to Christen and by that time the dancer's stomach was already a burning cannon. How the hell was she going to dance that night? Luckily, Mallory had also helped her with her stage clothes. "D'you have five minutes, girlies? I need to… talk to her about something." Christen is already too nervous to process what the famous star is demanding.

Mallory rolls her eyes. "Okaaaay. But five."

"Gotcha, Pugh. Love ya. Nice to see you too, Rose, you look wonderful." 

She briefly hugs the assistant, who giggles. "Always so charming."

Together, they walk to the terrace of that hotel room, in which after one of the hairdressers finishes smoking and goes in the room, they end up alone. It's in that moment when Tobin takes her sunglasses off and hugs the dancer, who, although a few centimeters taller than her, instinctively hides her head in the crook of the singer's neck. And how nice she smells! It's intoxicating, even.

"Oh my God, you can't imagine how much I wanted to do this." Christen giggles, giddy. "You look… I don't even…"

"And you haven't seen me with the dress yet."

"Are you going to kill me? It would be good to know 'cause, you know babe, I've actually been invited to sing up there." 

"Well, you won't see me until the red carpet." The dancer jokes. Tobin kisses his cheek, being careful not to mess the perfect contouring.

"Does it give bad luck, or something? Like, you know, weddings?"

She giggles again, hypnotized, enchanted by her. 

"Tobin Heath! You said five, not fifteen!" 

"Oh fuck…" now it's time for Tobin to laugh.

"Go. Make it easy for Mallory, she's fantastic. See you in a bit, yes?"

"I can't wait."

And something makes Christen think that Tobin doesn't just mean seeing her in the fancy dress.

•••

She likes cameras. She moves in front of them like a fish in the water, like a lion before hunting. Along with her studies in higher dance, she also took some dance lessons in front of cameras to get used to it because she never saw herself in a theater. That doesn't mean that she is not about to die of nerves when, from the car that was behind hers, Tobin Heath appears in a black suit that reveals all the skin from his sternum to a few inches above her navel, with her hair back (looking wet), beautiful black earrings and a makeup that clearly matches Christen's.

"Shit." The dancer mutters, already burning. 

When she reaches her and, without hesitation, takes her hand after dedicating her one of the most sweeping smiles that Christen has seen in her life, she feels safe. The magazines are going to talk about her, they are going to do it, but Tobin looks at her in a way that makes everything worth it.

"No words." She whispers in her ear when they stop in the queue of one of the photocalls. "You'll have to talk in interviews because I'm going to make a fool of myself just by drooling over you."

"Yeah?" The dancer answers, cockyly, knowing the star is kidding.

"You look wonderful. Whew, I don't know whether to fire Mallory or raise her pay." She laughs. "Hi."

"Hello, Tobin."

"Are you enjoying the night, so far?"

"Oh my Gosh, leaving the hotel I met P!nk. She's so cool! She recognized me, I was freaking out." 

Tobin laughs wholeheartedly. "Come on, love. It's our turn, let's leave the starstruck-ness for later. Do you… do you want to hold my hand?" Christen nods, smiling. She doesn't hesitate. "Okay."

They walk through that huge photocall with lots of MTV signs and several orders on how to pose and for what camera-man. If Christen likes it, Tobin is simply a master at it. She does it with a naturalness but with a nonchalance, at the same time... isn't that her great appeal? After that, one of the interviewers is waiting in a corner to talk to them but Tobin doesn't let go of her hand and that fuels Christen to the point that she feels so powerful she could burst. 

It's one of the craziest, warmest things she's ever felt. It's madness.

She loves it. 

"You did amazing, you're a natural. Maybe we'll have to reconsider going to the Grammys together." The dancer knows that Tobin refers to the event, but anyway: she sees herself doing that. Being her partner, whatever that word means. "Do you want to warm up or something? We'll go up there in an hour."

"I'm good. I need to change, though."

"I'll let Mal know. I have to be sitting there, but…"

"Yeah, yeah… I get it."

Tobin leaves a shy kiss on her shoulder. "No, you don't. When our performance is over, you will sit there with me. I asked the showrunners to put a card with your name by my side. And, you know, if I win the VMA, I will talk about you. And the dance. And how amazing you are. I hope you are ready for that." Christen blushes. That's so unexpected. "You asked me to behave until the performance and I'm going to do that but from the minute it ends, I'm going to take my time with you, Christen Press."

Oh, she will. The dancer bites her lip and watches how Tobin walks to the other side of the theater, meeting several industry colleagues along the way. Christen is going to get ready for the show, thinking that she is extremely happy to share that with a person as exceptional as the rockstar.

She is going to enjoy it.

That's for sure.

•••

The standing ovation is… her eyes shine as they have never shone before. She is tired and breathing hard, but she clutches herself at Tobin as if she were a wooden board in the middle of the sea. The singer can only look at her, also tired, but happy. They have done it and because of the way in which everyone has stood up to applaud, to cheer they have done very well. Tobin has always lived for recognition, it's like a drug, validation is. But at that moment she steps to the side and points to Christen so the people applauds her and, wow, the crowd responds screaming because the dancer is that good.

She would never forget. She has never felt so full.

"Ladies and gent, Christen Press." Tobin grabs a mic to say that and the audience goes wild. 

The moment is over a few minutes later and Alex Morgan, Tobin's manager, walks to them backstage.

"You did it! Wow! You freaking did that! Tobin Powell Heath!" She lets Alex embrace her, but her eyes never leave Christen. When she was on that stage, she has forgotten that she was performing for millions of viewers. In that scenario they were both, was the study of Julie, the pool of that expensive hotel in Philadelphia, the first time she saw her. There was her privacy. Her life. Her fucking heart was up there!

Christen can't stop smiling. Tobin ends up winning the award for the best video of the year and goes to the stage with her, hand to hand. And she says nothing more than music industry (and world) should support dancers. That's all she says.

She is invited to more than five different parties but she only wants to go for a walk with her, so she does. They end up on a half-private beach (that place may belong to one of their most influential friends that coincidentally that night is not there) and Christen gets carried away, intoxicated by everything she has lived that night.

"Thank you." The dancer mumbles, almost without voice. It's… everything it's overwhelming, at that point.

They won't see the stars in such a big city but the night is beautiful. And the dim light of the back porch of Tobin's friend's house, which isn't there, is perfect. Both are sitting on the wooden stairs but Christen has taken off her shoes, feeling the warm sand on her fingers hurt by so many war wounds, as a dancer.

"For what?" Tobin responds, cautiously. 

Christen shrugs. "At this point, I don't even know, Tobin." The singer understands it all. God, she is in love with that tall, skinny, beautiful woman. It's the first time she realizes she has, in front of her, everything she's been afraid of since the very first moment she felt she was famous: a person to take care of. To love deeply.

Christen rests her head on Tobin's shoulder and sighs. 

"What are we going to do now?" The dancer murmurs.

"I…" Tobin holds her breath, too. "The only thing that I know is that I'm happy, right now. This is lovely. The night, you… I would kill for some champagne, though." Christen snorts, giggling. "I feel like celebrating, we won that fucking award!"

"Why didn't you go to one of those big parties, then?"

"Because this is an only two people event. You and me, babe. I don't need, no, I don't want anything else at the moment."

Christen kisses her. Her heart was beating so hard against her chest she couldn't take it anymore so she grabs her cheeks carefully and ends up with the distance between them.

She's unsure of what will happen. Scared, even. But she can worry tomorrow, as well.

Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Rose and Mal has been so funny actually. I hope you'd enjoyed it, ha :D


	7. She Don't Dance (Everyone You Know)

The sun enters through the window and grazes her caramel skin. Tobin is looking at her, with that white sheet covering just below her waist while she bites an apple. She is hungry, she doesn't remember the last time she has eaten; she thinks that the day before, with all the madness, she didn't even eat. 

"Mmh..." Christen yawns, opening her eyes slowly.

"Good morning, beautiful." The singer says, smiling. 

"Morning. What time is it?"

"Half past ten. Why? Do you have elsewhere to go?" Christen smiles, shaking her head. "That sounded a little possessive, sorry."

"Mmh, I can't concentrate if you're naked, it's too early and I'm still sore from yesterday." 

Tobin giggles, tosses the apple to the floor and lays by her side. "So I'm that good, huh?"

They kiss. A lot. It feels natural, even with all those unanswered questions between them. What are they, where could Christen stand in a life as crazy as the star's one.

They have fun because that seems the easiest thing to do. Christen never tells Tobin that she doesn't have anywhere to be at all because it's either her parents house or Kelley's apartment in New York, and she has no reason to be in any of those places. Tobin doesn't tell her that she still struggles with an addiction she hasn't overcome at all, yet. They hang out like if they were in a perpetual honeymoon and Christen swears she hasn't been that reckless before, like, ever. 

The press talks about Christen Press (no pun intended) as one of the newest celebrities and a lot of people wants to hang out with her, but she trusts Tobin's judgement so she goes with some people and ditches other, that easy.

They are not lying to each other. It's just that there's some truths to hide.

Christen thinks anything is a big deal at all. Someday, this thing between them could end so she enjoys it because she's thirty and even if she wants to settle down, she feels on the fucking top of the world.

So they continue like that.

Until Christen sees with her own eyes how, before a huge party, Tobin snorts a coke line.

"What are you doing." Tobin feels cold. It's more a judgement than a question and the singer is surprised. She thought Christen knew? At that point, every fucking body knew that she had problems with drugs, so what's the surprise?

"Okay. Babe, chill." Christen wants to snap but she certainly doesn't know if she has the right to do it, so she keeps quiet. "I'm good, everything's good. This ain't something I do everyday, Chris, it's just… look, I hate the people that it's going to come to the party, I need some encouragement. That's all. Please." Tobin sighs. "Don't make a huge deal about this. Or at least, wait until tomorrow. Are you going to be here for me, tonight? Please?"

"Uhm…"

"Please. I need you there"

"Okay."

She can't say no if she asks like that.

•••

The party is… something else. 

She can't count how many times somebody offers her to have "some fun" (and consequently, she wonders if everything is related to drugs at Tobin's circle) and even the DJ is struggling but anybody seems to notice at all. Well, the dancer does because she's on a corner of the room, watching how Tobin dismisses girl after girl and keeps talking to a girl that she hasn't met yet but seems cool, far enough from the DJ and all the madness.

Christen feels kind of lonely. She doesn't like the party at all and she thinks that the best thing she can do is leaving, but in the end she decided to approach Tobin because it's not like she has anything better to do and the singer, clearly tipsy, circles her waist with an arm and leaves a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

Suddenly, Christen feels all eyes on her. She knows every fucking person in the room is envious of her and even if she's never had issues with that, it's so powerful it sets the dancer's gut on fire. 

"Babe, have you met 'Harry' already?"

"Harry?" Christen smiles, raising an eyebrow.

"Friends since we were kids, here this girl was so obsessed with Harry Potter it was ridiculous." She laughs, deciding she likes this girl. It's refreshing to find not everybody on the party is a moron. "Nice to meet you, Christen. The VMA's number was sick, huge fan."

"Likewise." Christen shakes her hand, friendly. Her face sounds kinda familiar but she couldn't put a finger on why. 

"Allie. I'm Allie." She laughs it off. "You may not know the band I play in but, well, a girl's gotta try: have you heard anything from 'Long Crystal'?"

"Oh my God, of course I know you!" Then she realizes she does know Allie. She's the main guitarist of a brand new indie band that her best friend Kelley is so obsessed with, and because of that, she loves some of their songs, as well. "Just wait till I tell my friend Kelley that I met Allie from Long Crystal, she's going to flip." Allie and Tobin both laugh. "How come you know each other since kids and you have different projects, though?"

"Wow, for sure 'your' girl makes good questions, 'Toby'." The popular singer laughs at her friend's antics, Christen blushes when Allie acknowledges as 'Tobin's girl'. It's warm. "In the end if we wanted to keep being friends it was better to work separately. She's an amazing one and in the end she helped us, me and the girls, because we've been her opening act for her last tour, but we wanted different things."

"You make it sound like I'm a bitch." Tobin says, matter-of-factly. Allie laughs. "I swear I'm not."

"We love each other to bits. She's like a sister to me."

"I can tell." Christen says, smiling. She's glad Tobin has at least one nice person around her.

"And she throws mindblowing parties, even if I don't know like… anyone in here?" 

Tobin giggles. "It's shit you have to leave this early, Harry."

"Yeah, blame my agent. She thinks a 7AM flight is the most appropriate thing for a girl in a sunday. Well, nice to meet ya, beautiful. Take care of this crackhead, yeah?"

Christen laughs, too. "I'll try."

"I like her." She mouths to Tobin, so exaggeratedly that the dancer can't help but chuckle while she watches the two friends hug. "Bye, girls!"

"Mmh… I like having you here." Tobin rests her head against Christen's shoulder. "This used to be so boring."

"Why do you do it, then?" The singer shrugs. The lack of answer worries Christen, that kisses Tobin's forehead lovingly. She seems tired (the dark circles under her pretty brown eyes indicate that she is) and the dancer feels, for a moment, that she could protect her from all this madness that surrounds her.

It's ambitious and complicated. Just how she likes it.

"Do you think they'll notice if we leave?" 

The singer chuckles. "Baby, I've never…"

"Don't you want to, though?" And then she sighs, nodding sheepishly. "Good. Let's get out of here, then."

"Okay." She concedes. Five minutes later, they are already out. "I guess I can bare with it tomorrow, I'll tell them that I wasn't feeling okay." Tobin is exhausted, Christen can feel. She's never seen her so… she can't put the right words to it. "You don't think I'm boring, right?" She wants her to stop overthinking so once they are in her car, she hugs her. Tobin falls apart in her arms, a few tears fall down her eyes. The dancer doesn't know what to say at all, but as calm as she can she rocks her in her arms until, half asleep, Tobin breaks the hug and leans against the passenger window. "Can you take me home, please?"

Christen could do anything for her. 

"Of course I can, Tobin."

•••

Next day is weird because she had never wondered before what a sad Tobin would look like and to discover it with her own eyes…

She pretends that what happened last night in the car hasn't happened at all and Christen is dying to bring it back, but she respects her willing. If Tobin is having issues and they have a thing (and Allie directly called her 'Tobin's girl' so they definitely have a thing) the dancer wants to know in order to help her because yes, it's so scary but she would never ever leave her alone, much less in this state.

"Do you want to watch a movie? We can order takeout." It's weird because they're at Tobin's but Christen is who's setting things to do in order to cheer her up. "Babe?"

"Uhm… yeah, yeah. Sorry."

"Chinese?" Tobin nods. "Cool. The chicken noodles you love?"

"Christen, why are you doing this?" The question catches her off guard and the dancer raises an eyebrow. "I know I'm a mess but usually I deal with this alone and I don't..."

"Hey, you are not a mess." She rubs her thumb against Tobin's chin. "It's okay to be tired, or sad once in a while."

The singer chuckles dryly. "Yeah, once in a while. Whatever."

"And what if not? If you think that I'm here with you just for the fun of it-"

"That's…" She sighs. "That's something I wanted to ask you, too. Uhm… not that I don't love having you with me but… but don't you have anywhere else to go?" It's time for Christen to blush. "Hey. Love, you can tell me."

"It's embarrassing."

"Why?"

"I live with my parents. I mean, I don't live with them but when I'm in LA I stay at my parents because it's easier than being in an hotel or renting a place or, whatever, I don't spend too much time there anyways, ad in New York, I usually crash at Kelley's apartment. Because of the type of job I have, I'm used to sleeping on my friends' couches. It's not very stable, in fact this is the first time I'm getting well paid for it." All she receives is one of Tobin's smiles. "What?"

"I love it when you rant. Why did you feel it was something embarrassing, babe? I get it."

"You do?"

"Of course I do, I also spend more time in hotel rooms than here at home. This ain't even home, real home is New Jersey with my family or even Portland, where all of this started." Christen smiles too. She loves this raw side of the singer, it's refreshing. "You're welcome here. Well; here, Portland… anywhere."

"Thank you, Tobin."

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this sad side of me. I… I would love everything to be like it was in Portland, but I guess I can't control everything anymore." 

The dancer nods. She kinda understands her: fame is dangerous, it's like a poison because people praises you to a point you blur all the lines between your own person and the famous girl people thinks you are. She always kept it simple because of that, now discovering what's fame like.

And she's not just a dancer anymore. She's one of Tobin Heath's acquaintances, whatever that means.

"I'm ordering chinese takeout and we're spending all the afternoon cuddling and watching Harry Potter, okay? Let me take care of you for once, superstar."

She loves her. She has had the opportunity to properly know her during these days and she wants to stay. She doesn't know what the singer feels and maybe the comfortable situation they're in is kinda tricky but she's full in. 

"You're the best."

Tobin could break her heart. 

That won't stop her from giving in, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved writing this one? yes i did


End file.
